"Whoever loses his life.."

Heard this song in the shower & started crying b/c God is so awesome! For many years i have struggled with fear, worry, and stress. Trying to figure everything out, trying to please this person, worried about opinions,& just trying to control everything. Since im such a private person it often tended to be a secret battle-to afraid let someone see me at a weak point or to know i too have weaknesses. Within the last couple months w/all God is doing, transitions&changes going on and just life itself,anxiety and worry for me went to a new level. I was literally to the point of exhaustion mentally and physically. The last couple weeks i was struggling  b/c i felt like i was losing control, i felt like i was sinking & my faith had started to waiver. I kept feeling like a crushing heaviness inside, but of course i kept it to myself. One day last week i woke in the middle of the night w/such a heaviness and saddness on me that i slid out of bed and began praying. I was crying&the Holy Spirit took over the prayer. The very next day my friend (who i told nothing to about what was going on )out the blue loving spoke TRUTH&told me i was not about to die where i was! She said dont let pride take me outta here by not allowing myself to open up to people who God has sent to help me. She even brought to my attention how everything was starting 2 effect my body(extreme weigthloss ect) which i honestly didnt recognize.God had been telling me to let go & trust him and to let go of control. Guess that was my wake up!My eyes were opened to exactly what stressing /worring was actually doing to me and how satan had been robbing me of my peace/joy & how i had let him! Last week i made up my mind to finally LET GO and LET GOD! To get out the way&trust God in all areas.And as a result these past couple of days have been like brand new! Like a sweet peace in God! Understand, stress/worry is a slow&silent killer.You cannot go thru life suppressing everything.Dont let ur pride cost you ur life! You better talk to someone. I will tell you what a wise person said to me "not everone is trying to hurt you!" Futhermore you dont have 2 figure it all out, give it to Jesus &trust him!#RESTORATION

Authentically You

Hey my blog loves! Man how time flies by.
I know i kinda fell off with my blog just dealing with everyday life BUT to God be the glory im still here, its a beautiful day that he has made and im rejoicing and glad in it! So my blog has been on my mind lately and i thought to myself how i wanted to get back to it. I figured today was perfect since i have something to share...

In this season, time and place in my life i know God is elevating me to higher levels of anoiting , knowledge, gifting just all around. But even with that sometimes its easy for fear or doubt to try to creep in. I found myself today wrestling with those issues. Last night we had an Intercessory Prayer meeting (Yes! Hooray hooray i finally acknowledged the prayer warrior God called me to be...after much back and fourth with him! Lol so yall pray for me because im in consecration right now) so anyway at our meeting we had to do prophetic activations which are excercises in learning to hear and lean on what the Holy Spirit is saying. During the excercise we had to tell our partner one word that we heard the Holy Spirit saying about them. Pause right here... So let me say, im in the best place i have ever been with the Lord. I have grown so much especially with recognizing when the Holy Spirit is speaking to me. I can tell i have gotten so much stronger. Even with that said last night i began to wrestle with intimidation, doubt and some fear. For some reason i was intimidated by the THOUGHT of not measuring up to other "more seasoned" intercesors. I was even battling wether i was hearing from God and i got fearful if i was giving my partner the right word. See i was allowing the enemy to make me question my gift and my own abilities. Even after i went home i kept feeling that worry or doubt. I knew it was not true but the enemy was really attacking my mind with doubt and fear and the question if i can really hear the Holy Spirit.

Anyhoo, fast foward to this morning i can still feel this same wrestle as i was trying to write something and was seeking the Holy Spirits guidence. I knew it was a lie and continued to press through. Now we get to this afternoon,since my church is doing a big Easter play i signed up to do makeup(quite naturally since im a makeup artist). Now i usually do more bridal type makeup and have NEVER done theatrical makeup before,so this will be my first time. That fact hit me when i was in there and i began to get nervous, worried and a little scared.  So many different thoughts are running through my head. Im like "Lord, i dont know how to do this!" "Lord i dont know where to begin with what i need!" The entire rehearsal my mind is just running.  I left rehersal came home sat in my car and began to pray. My head had started to hurt with all the warfare i recognized i had been dealing with since the night before. As i began to pray the Holy Spirit showed me what was happening. That i was not resting in God enough and that i had allowed satan to attack me with fear, worry, unbelief and doubt. He also showed me a point i had operated in pride(whole seperate story). See i was not speaking Gods word back to satan enough but instead i came into an agreement with the fear i was feeling. I continued to pray asking God to forgive me and casted down all those negative thoughts and worries. I began to proclaim Gods word over myself. Immediately the Holy spirit began to remind me that i dont have to fear because i have been uniquely made. He reminded me that it was my time and my season and that i just have to walk in it. He said just to be authentically Ciera and do everything as a servant to him then i dont have to worry or fear what others think or try to measure up to something.(which was exactly what my intercessor leader said last night, but i just understood it today) All of this im speaking out of my mouth as i feel lead by the spirit. Then my headache goes away.

I said all that to say that there will be times that the enemy tries to play tricks with your mind. He will try to get you to fear, doubt God or question the gifts and talents God has given you. I say to you dont let satan have any type of hold on you! As soon as he starts whispering lies to you, you must start speaking and proclaiming what God has said back to him. Only what God says matters. And dont allow yourself to feel less than, God has created you uniquely.  Psalm 139 says you are" fearfully and wonderfully made" that means he took his time designing you and placing things inside of you. Nothing God ever does is wasted so celebrate every thing God has given to you that makes you YOU! Its all for the purpose of glorifying him. When you understand that, then truly you will know that nobody can beat you at being you! God knows everything about you, how to speak to you and all that you need. He loves you just the way you are...

Snow Days

Happy Snow Day everyone! The snow is so beautiful. Its so white, clean and pure looking. It reminds me of who our Savior is and what he did for us. When he died on that cross for us many years ago. That single act cleansed us from all our sins, mistakes, shortcomings, bad decisions, wrong motives all our unrighteousness and it left us CLEAN! It left us freed to live life to the fullness God had intended for us since before we were formed in our mothers wombs.

So on this snow day use some time to get closer to the Father. Rest, relax and be at peace in him. May you be warm and cozy in him today!!